Miley Cyrus Talks Tough; or, What’s In My Cup? Orange Stuff

  It turns out that I’m sick again.  I had some strep throat a couple weeks back, and now I seem to be catching a cold.  The symptoms include weakness in the joints, a slight fever, and regurgitation of pop culture gossip.  One more swig of the Day-Quil, now it’s off to the web.
 
The internets are [...]

Read Full Post »

In Which Dan Friesen Finds His Match; or, I Need a Girl To Pass Out With

My friends, loyal Friesen Pointers, I have a big announcement.  I’m not one to make large pronouncements, but I think I have found the girl of my dreams.  Her name is Meagan Harper, and if I can scrounge up $50,000 and a ride to Oregon City, Oregon, we will be together.
You see, Meagan is locked [...]

Read Full Post »

The Spears Family Will Never Reclaim Respectability; or, I Hate Nick News

  I have been down in the dumps this holiday season.  I’ve been primarily spending my time drinking alone and trying to make it through all thirteen discs of the complete series DVD’s of Dr. Katz.  There’s been no family around, as my parents live in Texas, my brother couldn’t get enough time off work to [...]

Read Full Post »

The Death of a Bit; or, The Meta Hypothetical

                                        Yet another out-of-context picture of R. Kelly.  The camera loves this man.
You are a blogger who single-handedly writes one of the hottest fucking blogs in the blogoshpere.  You have launched a bit wherein you post a [...]

Read Full Post »

An Experiment in Posting Videos; or, All Hail McDonald!

In the spirit and tradition of me starting to post pictures with my posts, I felt it was high time to start incorporating the occasional video.  You know, I have to keep up with technology.  So, here is a great music video to serve as my test of my grasp of “cutting” and “pasting” code. [...]

Read Full Post »

Wu Tang No Longer; or, To Catch a Semi-Predator

Boy, am I feeling depressed today.  Usually, the causes of my funks are any man’s guess.  Not today.  Today, the source is clear: I just listened to the new Wu Tang Clan album, 8 Diagrams.
As my friends know, I am a hip-hop fan, specifically a bizarre, mystical Muslim hip-hop fan.  I love the Five Percenters, [...]

Read Full Post »

The Perfect Revenge; or, The Suicide Hypothetical

                You have decided to commit suicide, but you decide to do so in such a way that it will look to all observers and investigators to be a murder.  You decide to plant a lot of evidence that points the finger of blame at your archenemy having killed [...]

Read Full Post »

I Can’t Believe It Took This Long For Them To Find My Profile; or, The OTR Chronicles Part 4

                                     Nothing wrong with an out-of-context picture of R. Kelly to start things off here.

Holy Christ, I thought my days of thinking about that worthless theU.com blog were long over.  As loyal Friesen Pointers will recall, some months [...]

Read Full Post »

Food or Family; or, The Shaman Hypothetical

                                                                      
You are peeing in a bathroom in a gas station on a reservation in New Mexico.  Midstream, a shaman walks in [...]

Read Full Post »

In Which Dan Friesen Realizes That Celebrity Deaths Really Do Come In Threes; or, Spelling It “Cum” Was Too Little Too Late, Even in 1983

                      Sweet Christ, I feel depressed today.  It could have something to do with my packed finals schedule, or maybe it’s the cold weather.  Maybe I just wish I had somewhere warm to put my wang.  Whatever the case, I am in a funk.
It’s times like [...]

Read Full Post »