The Basics Of Beards Part 5: My Beard Hero

Look at this fucking guy.  I use a lot of sarcasm in my words and writing, and sometimes it can be hard to discern the real meaning of some of my words.  I cannot stress enough that I am not being sarcastic at all when I say that this guy is one of the top [...]

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Happy Loving Couples Make It Look So Easy

I haven’t been keeping track of politics at all, but I hear that Obama’s former preacher, Jeremiah Wright, hates white people.  I decided to read an article about him on CNN and I couldn’t make it past the first line.
“Jeremiah Wright has been a lot of things — husband, father, author, composer, outspoken minister and [...]

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Resurrections That Have Nothing to Do With Jesus or Claire Bennett’s Blood

I was laying around in the hotel room that my girlfriend and I were staying in this weekend, and something very interesting came on the TV box.  There I was, flipping through channels, when what should appear on my screen but Booker T, who not too long ago was dethroned in the WWE, and found [...]

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I Would Love To Do The Opposite of Blow Up That Stage, Like Maybe I Could Hit The Stage With A Jizz Pipe Bomb

I’m about sick and tired of this world.  I don’t mind really sad things, like tsunamis and derailments of Marshmallow Cream trucks.  I just don’t have a taste for contradictions and nonsense, which seem to be far more prevalent in the world today.
Take our society’s sexual mores for example.  We’re not allowed to have sex [...]

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Is Splitting a Fifth of Beam and a 12-Pack of Hamm’s With One Person More or Less Than 21 Drinks Each?

Children, your intrepid columnist had a rare joy this weekend. He experienced the type of thing that one can only enjoy once a year. Thursday was my birthday.
To celebrate, I went out to Déjà Vu on Thursday to see fellow columnist Ryan Beck do some stand-up, and was impressed not only by Ryan’s decent performance, [...]

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I Love The Three Six, But I’d Rather Watch Project “Dr. Teeth” Pat

This is quite a birthday for me.  First, I received a video for Riskay’s “Smell Yo Dick,” and now today, I get another feminist anthem music video, this one coming from Academy Award Winners, Three 6 Mafia.  This is their new track “I’d Rather.”
Though I personally prefer having sex to getting [...]

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Anthony Hopkins Dodges Jury Duty

I have a new hero. 
Everyone complains about having to go to jury duty, and that there is no way to get out of it.  If you don’t show up, a warrant is put out for your arrest.  You can’t respectfully decline to do your civic duty.  If you claim that you don’t respect the [...]

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It’s About Damn Time This Happened

Holy Shit.  My birthday’s not until tomorrow, but my gift showed up early.  It turns out that Riskay finally decided to make a video for her super-powered feminist anthem “Smell Yo Dick,” and I couldn’t be happier.
In the video, her friend, who sings the chorus, catches Riskay’s boyfriend hitting on a [...]

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Raw Politics: Follow-Up

As I mentioned in my last post, the presidential candidates were on WWE Raw (what ever happened to “Raw is War?”) last night, and it was less exciting than I had expected.  When I heard that they were going to appear, I naturally assumed that they would actually come down to [...]

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This Just In: This Could Lead To The Greatest Meeting Of All Time

I just read this headline, and I was convinced that I was making it all up under the influence of my sleeping pills.  Imagine this: “Presidential Candidates on Tonight’s Raw.”  What is this, sweet spirits?  Presidential politics colliding with sports entertainment?  I unfortunately can’t find any video of this, but I can only hope that [...]

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