I was reading BBC online today, and I read a story that made me really sad. I’ll just give you the headline, and I think you’ll know what I mean: “Motley Crue curate festival tour.” I guess their line up will be full of antiquities, but “curate” seems like a pretty lofty verb.
Yuck. Motley Crue hopes to emulate Ozzfest by making this an annual festival tour. This year, they’re planning to hit 41 cities. When I say that they’re planning to hit 41 cities, I mean that they’ll probably call it quits after about 4 stops.
Talk about your loser, has-been rocker buffet here. Joining the Crue on the tour is Papa Roach (should have recontemplated suicide) and Buckcherry (they’re still around? They had one hit approximately a decade ago, and have done nothing but piss me off since. Whenever I sing a few bars of that “you’re not going to make it in the movies” song, people look at me like I’m crazy. That makes me think that Buckcherry might not be the big draw that the Crue might think they are). They don’t have a name for the tour yet, but they’re referring to it as “the loudest show on earth.” You give me a drum kit, some amps, and a bunch of fireworks, I bet dollars to donuts that I could give you a louder show.
The only thing sadder than this disingenuous label is that the Crue is releasing their new single “Saints of Los Angeles” on Rock Band. They’re releasing their new single on a fucking video game! And someone’s paying for them to put together a festival tour? Shouldn’t they only be allowed to play state fairs at this point?
I try not to get into too much fear mongering or big-business-bashing, but this is too much. I fear we have gone too far, and that it might be too late to turn back. If society has gotten to the point where has-been bands who have been jokes for twenty years (and have already been the subject of a Behind the Music) are releasing songs through a FUCKING VIDEO GAME and people think that this is acceptable, I think the music industry has got some real problems.
Madonna’s releasing her new songs in commercials, Deaf Leopard is releasing their new songs on Rock Band too. This culture is getting ugly. I remember a day when no-name bands were getting their songs put on the Tony Hawk soundtrack because they couldn’t get anyone else to release their music. Now everything is backwards: hip bands are releasing albums on major labels and square, established “artists” are releasing their tunes through alternative means.
Next thing you know, Tom Jones is going to be taking a job as a day laborer or Vanilla Ice is going to get arrested for domestic battery. The world is backwards! Up is down! Affirmative action is racism! Antioxidants are deadly! I can’t take it anymore.
Another bizarre headline that didn’t make sense until I read the article: “Firefighting plane crashes, town hopes for snow.”
Without yesterday’s rock, we would not have what we have today. What may be overrated for you was really big way back then. Motley Crüe had their moment and set trends for others to follow. Let’s give em’ credit at least for that.
As to their tour. I guess everyone’s gotta make a livin’!
I’ll give them credit for setting trends that people (like the Darkness or Avenged Sevenfold) who suck ass follow. Yesterday’s rockers that made meaningful music deserve some respect, but I don’t know how much reverence I should have for the people who made “Tonight (We Need A Lover)” and “White Punks on Dope.”
Their whole style of music, their image, their sound, their fake rebellion; it’s all just bullshit. It’s all just a watered down, commercialized version of something genuine. If they really were as rebellious as they pretend to be, they would all be in jail or dead by this age.
As for their tour, everyone does need to make a living, which they should have done by now. They were playing arena tours for about a decade. If they weren’t totally fucking retarded, they should have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of their lives at this point. But, as we can tell by listening to their music and watching their Behind the Music, they are all fucking retarded.
*Def Leppard. Jeez.
I spelled it that way on purpose, jerk.
you could have spelled it Fed Drappel.
You’re really attracting some winners with this post, Dan.
But, I have to admit that I love butt rock. If it wasn’t for butt rock, we would never see Nick’s full karaoke potential realized.
I disagree. I feel that Nick’s greatest karaoke moments come from old country songs and the theme from The Sound of Music
[...] in April, I posted a scathing attack on the Motley Crüe. I was angry that they were releasing their single “Saints of Los Angeles” on the video game [...]