I have a new hero.
Everyone complains about having to go to jury duty, and that there is no way to get out of it. If you don’t show up, a warrant is put out for your arrest. You can’t respectfully decline to do your civic duty. If you claim that you don’t respect the authority of the court, they will just think you’re joking. I worry about jury duty. Although I am spectacularly wise, and I believe I am all knowing, I still probably shouldn’t be deciding anyone’s fate, or officially deciding anyone’s guilt or innocence.
Well, I am worrying no longer. In Mount Clemens, Michigan, a potential juror was thrown out for going out and getting wasted during his lunch break. Edward Linna was taken out of contention for a spot on a Macomb County jury when he returned to the courthouse with a blood alcohol content of .24%. How long is that lunch break? He must have been taking care of some serious business during lunch.
Linna is going to have to serve one day in jail after being found guilty of contempt of court, but so what? One day in jail is nothing, especially compared to the potentially long drawn-out, boring, details-heavy trial. It’s a small price to pay, and odds are that you won’t be called for jury duty again any time soon.
The days of complaining about jury duty are officially over. If you want out, take the Edward Linna route and get jacked up on the booze and watch your jury duty disappear. Congratulations, Edward Linna, you are the recipient of the 2008 Friesen’s Pointing At You Award for Most Inspirational Potential Juror. The trophy and windbreaker are in the mail.
.24? jesus christ, that guy wasn’t fucking around. he musta pulled down a fifth of old grandad to get to that level.
i’m no toxicologist (?) but I think a .24 requires a lot more than a fifth. gotta be at least a handle and a sixer. this story is fucking sweet.
I felt I was behooved to cite this story, so as to make sure people didn’t think I was making this up, or exaggerating his BAC. Here is my source: http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/15965017/detail.html
I grew up with this guy, saw him every Christmas. I am not going to say my relation but he always had beers in front of him. funny stuff.
I’m not judging. I think that going to have a few beers during your lunch hour is genius. I don’t know anything about this man, but I get the feeling he and I could hang out, between our cancelled jury duties. Between Edwin Linna and I, we could solve any crime. We could be like the “Box Car Children” Just call me Hercule Poirot