Two guys were arrested in Aryada, Colorado for robbing a convenience store while wearing women’s underwear on their faces as masks. They were given the name “The Thong Bandits.”
That is a real tragic nickname. That’s not going to get you any respect in the joint, and quite frankly, it’s not that funny.
If the wheels fall off the wagon for me here at Friesen Point, and I have to resort to a life of crime, I have a plan worked out already. This plan is clever, daring, and sure get me a book deal after I serve my time.
The first thing I would do is get two friends to move to Nashua, New Hampshire with me to commit a string of bank robberies. We would use fake guns, never hurt anyone, and always wear berets and fake moustaches that look something like this:
We would only speak in French, commanding the tellers to “donnez-moi l’argent” and “fermez la bouche.” I know for a fact that the media couldn’t help but call us “The Nashua Trois.”
A man recently got convicted of a bank robbery in which no one got hurt, and he was only sentenced to 30 months in prison. 30 months in prison is nothing to have to sit through for the amount of money Random House would pay for a tell-all from the ring leader of the Nashua Trois. We would market ourselves as the multi-lingual, thinking man’s bank robbers.
No one’s going to pay for a book by the Thong Bandits. They might get an interview on Local Access TV, but really, where’s the money in that?
For your next poll, could you find out which world leader has the funniest name? There was a king from Bhutan named Jigme Singye Wangchuck, and I seem to remember a Yang Shimoni from somewhere or other. Also, there’s no way that’s the real Ellerbee. It’s probably Ben. This might even be Ben. There’s no way to know for sure…
No way. It’s totally Linda Ellerbee. You think she has anything better to do than respond to my blog? You think anyone else is writing about her?