I often get depressed about the direction in which this world is heading. I go about my daily life, and I try to be social and open to strangers, but I almost always find myself confused and under whelmed. I often find myself not understanding what people are talking about, and it’s not because I’m stupid, but because a lot of people speak so vaguely that I find myself struggling to interpret what they’re saying. My mind works abstractly, and I just can’t deal with people who only think and communicate in a concrete manner. When I ask someone a question, I very rarely want a one word answer; I can’t do anything with that.
But I digress. I was saying that the world is going down the tubes. Nothing proves this to me more than my “Google Analytics” report for this blog. In the report, I can find out what terms people searched for to arrive at my blog. I understand that I bring some of this on myself, and it’s understandable that “boner” or “titties” are going to pop up here and there. Today, I think the wheels have officially fallen off the wagon.
At 8:34 (Central) this morning, someone found my blog after searching for “is it illegal to talk dirty online?” I find this really troubling for a number of reasons
1) That’s awfully early to be concerned about the legality of cyber sex.
2) The search itself leads me to believe that the person who made the search is a total creep. Why would it be illegal to talk dirty online? Is it illegal to talk dirty in person? Talking dirty is totally legal unless you’re harassing someone. This seems so obvious that I have to believe that the searcher was talking about talking dirty to children. And just in case anyone else searches for that and finds this blog in the future: yes. It is illegal to talk dirty to children online.
Yet, this likely pedophile is not the most alarming thing about my search report. Just over two hours later, at 10:41 in the AM, someone (God help them) searched for “Anthony Hopkins fucking.” What?
I know that celebrity sex tapes are quite en vogue these days, and I understand that even if a celebrity isn’t very attractive (Chyna), there is still a sick, voyeuristic fascination in the public’s part, but this is too much. Anthony Hopkins doesn’t even want to see Anthony Hopkins fucking.
I understand the hullabaloo over a possible Mini Me sex tape, since he is a surly drunk midget, but I cannot abide by the possibility of an Anthony Hopkins sex tape. I cannot abide by anyone wanting to see an Anthony Hopkins sex tape. Seriously, I have a lunch to eat.
On a totally unrelated note, does anyone know how I can get my hands on a video of Robert Duvall getting a BJ?
I was going to write a post about the same damn thing. Right now, I’ve got four ridiculous searches that have led to my blog. I wanted to get a few more first.