Friesen’s Top Five List #19: Female Pornstars

Today, Nicky Gifts has, for the first time, assigned me a top five list that is right in my wheelhouse, but I don’t want to write.  Today, I have to make the list of the Top Five Female Pornstars.

Now, this is something, like any straight male, I have given a lot of thought to over the years.  I have a lot of thoughts on the matter, but as I’m sure you know about me by now, I don’t like to discuss such private matters in such a public forum.  I’m a man who values discretion, and this sort of profane conversation is very unseemly.

Immediately, it became clear to Nicky Gifts and I that we were going to have to make some guidelines, some boundaries for this contest.  What makes one a “pornstar?”  This is the real question we were wrestling with.

I, personally, am of the opinion that once you have sex on tape for money, you become a pornstar.  The money is what does it, not the having sex on camera.  Now, naturally, there are levels of pornstars.  There are the Jenna Jamesons of the world, and then there’s Rene, the girl who appeared on a video for Big Sausage Pizza (and one follow-up performance on Captain Stabbin’s Anal Adventures, under the new name Natalya) and then was never seen again.  Just like The Rolling Stones and The New Radicals are both recording acts, but worlds apart, I feel confidant calling all these women pornstars.

Before I get into this, I must make the warning that, though I have done everything I can to keep this list softcore, I’m afraid that it is pretty impossible to make it without throwing in a little nudity.  If you are offended by this, please do not keep reading.  Also, it may not be the best idea to read this list at work.  Also, please forgive me if I am using any of these images illegally.  I assure you that I’m making no money off this website.

(Update: there is no nudity now.  Photobucket took my pictures down, I didn’t realize that that was not allowed there.  Mea Culpa.)

Mom and dad, now would be as good a time as any for you to stop reading this.  I’ll write something wholesome next time, I promise.

Alright, it’s the Top Five Female Pornstars; let’s get it on.

Before I get into this, I have to make a little clarification.  There are a lot of pornstars that I am into right now that have not made the list.  In order to be included on this list, a girl has to have been on my masturbatory radar for at least a year.  These are the girls who have stood the test of time, and I’ve seen in multiple flicks that I’ve enjoyed.

5) Kaci Star

I’ve always had a thing for Rachel Ray, and in terms of porno, Kaci Star is about as close as it comes.  She has an old-timey beauty to her, as if she would look right in place at a 1950’s sock hop.  She’s got such cute dimples, and has that slightly pudgy look that gets my blood pumping.

Credits include: Racial Tension, Red On Top Black In The Hole, and Dirt Pipe Milkshakes #2.

4) Charlotte Stokely

Charlotte, with her angelic blond hair and oh-so-sweet freckles, looks like the type of girl you’d see riding around on one of those oversized skateboards.  These days, most of the girls in porn skate by on their looks, and don’t really pay any attention to the fact that, though porn is primarily about sex, it’s their job to act.  Charlotte does not make this mistake, as she is more than able to take a scene that would be boring if any other girl were in it and make it remarkable.

Credits include: The Da Vinci Load, Cheek Freaks #2, I Was Tight Yesterday #4, and White Wife Black Cock #7.

3) Gianna Michaels

It’s no secret that I’m a fan of the big top porn.  I love a heaving bosom as much as the next guy.  Actually, I probably like it more than the next guy.  But, Gianna is more than just huge cans and a pretty face; she has a great porn personality.  She is a dominant type, often talking some serious shit while getting her fuck on, frequently telling the guy that he’s not good enough in the sack.  I’m a man who can enjoy a little degradation, there’s nothing wrong with that.

Credits include: Bang My Tasty Twat, Boobaholics Anonymous #1, Hellcats #9: Non Stop!, and Sperm Receptacles.

2) Kacey

Kacey is a girl I’ve been down with for years.  She was one of the first pornstars I ever saw, in her scene from Bring ‘Um Young #2.  I was in an impressionable phase in my life, and she was just so goddamn adorable.  She hasn’t been around as much lately, but for being one of my first jack memories, she will always have a place in my top five.

Credits include: Inseminated By 2 Black Men #5, Service Animals #9: Disorder!, and Cum Sucking Whore Named Kacey.

1) Penny Flame

As if there was ever any doubt.  I am totally smitten with Penny Flame.  For one thing, she is great to look at.  Her smile is seductive, and her eyes always looked a little stoned.  But beyond just her physical beauty, Penny makes number one on my list because I can actually believe that she enjoys her job.  She also is not just your run of the mill pornstar, as she’s branched out and started directing such movies as Blazed and Confused, and Blazed and Confused #2.  She’s cute, she seems smart and an independent thinker, she’s business-minded, and she smokes a fair amount of weed.  She is undoubtedly Friesen Point’s choice for Top Pornstar in the World.

Credits include: Bang My Box, Semen Sippers #4, Who Let The Whores Out?, and College Guide How To Get More Pussy.