Mea Culpa, Dear Readers, Mea Culpa

I’ve been avoiding posting for a few days out of a slight feeling of shame.  Anyone in the publishing industry knows that there is no experience quite as humiliating as having to print a retraction.  Today, I have to print not one, but two very shameful, very humiliating retractions.

This is a perfect opportunity to clarify my infallibility.  While it is impossible for me to ever be wrong in my list-making, it is still wholly possible (perhaps likely even) for me to be wrong about anything else.  I hate to have to admit that I’m only human, but what can I say?  It takes a huge, brave, honest, bold, heroic man to embrace and publicly acknowledge his faults.  A huge, brave, honest, bold, heroic man.

Please join me now on a tour of the magical land of Whoops.

1) Bands Releasing Songs on Rock Band

Back in April, I posted a scathing attack on the Motley Crüe.  I was angry that they were releasing their single “Saints of Los Angeles” on the video game Rock Band.  I believe my exact words were:

“I try not to get into too much fear mongering or big-business-bashing, but this is too much.  I fear we have gone too far, and that it might be too late to turn back.  If society has gotten to the point where has-been bands who have been jokes for twenty years (and have already been the subject of a Behind the Music) are releasing songs through a FUCKING VIDEO GAME and people think that this is acceptable, I think the music industry has got some real problems.”

I was way off on this one.  Now that I’ve played a fair amount of Rock Band, I have realized that it is a very potent marketing tool.  There are a few songs on the Rock Band disc for the Wii that I’d never heard before and I have come to enjoy.  I guarantee that there’s no way I would have even given these songs half a chance if I weren’t forced to play them over and over again to master the drum beat.

So, here is my retraction: I recognize that Rock Band is a viable marketing tool, and that it makes a good amount of sense for bands to release music on the game.  That said, I do not retract my assertion that this means that the music industry is in some serious trouble.  Can you imagine a day when Foghat wins a Grammy for their release on the Rock Bad 6 disc?

2) Hole In The Wall

A couple weeks ago, I wrote a post hailing FOX’s Hole in The Wall as the greatest thing to happen to network TV since Inside Schwartz.  I believe my exact words were:

“I’m telling you, if they make a hundred seasons of this show, I’ll watch every single goddamn episode.  I’m telling you, I can’t get enough of this.”

It turns out that I was way off on that one.  I watched the first two episodes of this show, and I’ve had an ass full of it already.  In retrospect, I realize where I went wrong: this show made for an awesome commercial, but it had no chance of keeping things interesting for a whole hour.

And seriously, one time, just one fucking time, I want to see a hot, busty chick in one of those silver jumpsuits.  But no, all the contestants are morbidly obese chicks and variably heavy dudes.  I swear I saw one guy on the show with a boner.  If they could just throw me one more bone in the form of a busty, young nubile chick and throw me one less boner, maybe, just maybe, I could keep watching.  For now, I’m just going to stick with my bootlegged tapes of I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!