Barry Sonnenfeld Gets His Shit Freaked Out

(For previous dispatches from the private files of Clams Casino, please see here, here, here, here, here, and here)
Ladies and gentlemen, I have officially hit the mother lode.  I was incredibly worried that my days of illegally publishing authentic, behind-the-scenes transcripts from the professional life of Barry Sonnenfeld were over.  I had published the last [...]

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I’m Also Thankful For The Detroit Lions: 0-12 With A Fucking Bullet!

It’s Thanksgiving people, and that can only mean one thing: turkey, and lots of it.  At least that’s what it means to most people, and this year, I am sadly not most people.  I am celebrating Thanksgiving in what may go down in history as the saddest way ever: eating Ravioli-O’s and watching a marathon [...]

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Oagadougou Is The Capital of Burkina-Faso, Bitch!

I decided that today was going to be my big writing day, that I would get back on the ball and get some serious blogging done today.  Unfortunately, a bunch of ding-dong terrorists went and attacked Mumbai, and I haven’t been able to pull myself away from the CNN coverage.  I don’t even really care [...]

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A Special Holiday Post From Your Friends (Me) Here At Friesen Point

On Thursday, my “creative nonfiction” teacher took some time out of class to do a little writing exercise, something very rare in a writing class, at least in my experience.  I’m not a fan of “in class writing” exercises; I just don’t see what good is going to come out of me sitting down to [...]

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A Brief Foray Into Making Fun of Celebrities and Their Wives

Tobey Maguire and his wife Jennifer Meyer are expecting their second child, and I’m left wondering if that’s such a good idea.  The crack team of graphics experts here at Friesen Point (me) have put together this composite image of what their child will look like at age 33:

I guess what I’m saying is that [...]

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Proof That This World Is Spinning Out of Control, Exhibit #4284392: Baby Fight Club

It’s been a while since I’ve come across a news story that has made me question my faith in humanity, but today, a story has come to my attention that has sent shivers up my spine once again.
It turns out that a military man, a “Special Operations officer,” is being investigated for arranging “baby cockfights,” video [...]

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An Oldie, But a Goodie

I know this runs counter to my recent declaration that I’m going to restart writing new, funny stuff, but I recently uncovered this old essay of mine, and I’ve fallen in love with it all over again.
In what may go down in history as the worst decision I’ve ever made, I recently turned this essay [...]

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I’m Way Overdue For a New Post

My dear readers, I’m terribly sorry that I’ve left you without any funny writings for so long.  I’ve been hard at work, putting together the first As Yet Unnamed Comedy Show, which took place last night.  I hate to have to say it myself, but the show was an overwhelming success.  Thanks are due to [...]

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Fare Thee Well, TRL; You Clearly Never Reached Your Potential

In honor of the impending finale of TRL, MTV Hits has been playing “flashback” playlists from each year that the show has been on, and I would be lying if I told you that watching these videos hasn’t made me slightly wistful.  I’ve also recovered a number of lost memories from years past.
For instance, I’d [...]

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Friesen’s Top Five List #47: Best Times To Fart

Children, if there’s one description that fits me to a “T,” it has to be “good at winking.”

But, if I got to choose two, the other would probably be “extremely aware of social mores.”  I am a man who has vigorously studied the human being both in his natural habitat and in controlled environments, and [...]

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