I Shall Now Be Known As “The Oracle Of Dan-phi”

Have you ever wondered exactly what sort of person you are?  Well you’re in luck, because now all of us here at Friesen Point (me) are going to offer you a fool-proof system of self-analysis.  Do you dare learn the truth about yourself?  If you are truly brave, read on.  Prepare to become self aware.
It’s [...]

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He Will Save Us All

(I couldn’t find a video of Tyrese punching out that car’s window in 2 Fast 2 Furious, so I’ve instead posted this wonderful video of him and Paul Walker saying “bra” a lot.)
Ladies and gentlemen, we live in a strange world, but sometimes things look stranger than they actually are.  For example, [...]

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My Career As A Moody, Introverted Poet Continues

Oh children, ever since I decided that it was high time to “come out of the closet” as a secret poet, the lines have just been poring forth from my soul like molasses that’s been left out in the hot Arizona sun.  Look at that line, for instance.  Pure genius.
My rate of production has grown, [...]

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Yet Another Completely Pointless Study Teaches Me Nothing

A new study has come out today which does a great deal to pull back the curtain that surrounds the very mysterious “Myspace.”  Unfortunately, the study does nothing to explain the very elusive “clam jam;” perhaps I’m not meant to solve that one.
Today, we learned that “54% of teens talk about behaviors such as sex, [...]

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More Proof That 2009 Is Going To Be The Best Year Ever To Have Ever Existed

I’m telling you, I didn’t really believe that CNN talking head when he informed me on New Years Eve that 2009 was going to be the “greatest year of all time.”  I thought that this was just so much TV talk, an empty declaration made to fill time between discussions of how cold New York is [...]

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Dan Friesen: Our Generation’s Lord Byron

Children, it’s long been known that I am something of a phenom in the areas of list-making, dick jokery, and sandwich construction.  However, there is something that is not quite as common knowledge about me that I finally feel comfortable sharing with the world: my true love is actually poetry.
Now, I know that there is [...]

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Friesen’s Top Five List #49: Condiments In The World

Well children, today’s list has been a long time coming.  I’ve resisted making the list of the Top Five Condiments In The World for a very simple reason: I thought I’d already done it.  I thought that there was no way that I hadn’t weighed in on this very serious and prescient topic, so I [...]

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I Think I’ve Finally Found The Perfect Career Path

Ladies and gentlemen, I have been unemployed for far too long.  As much as I enjoy the freedom of being able to take a bath literally whenever I want, there comes a time when a little structure, a little responsibility, and a little occupation is just what the doctor ordered.  You’ll know when that time [...]

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Maybe She Didn’t Like Those Gay “Hall And Oates” Tattoos

I’m a man who hates few things more in life than trite, constantly repeated bullshit.  For example, every time I watch a football game featuring the commentary of John Madden, I want to throw my remote at the TV every time he says some asinine thing like “you have to catch the ball in order [...]

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Just In Time For The New Year, I Have A New Sick Obsession

So, my roommate Nicky Gifts recently purchased Rock Band 2 for his Wii, and ever since, things have been a little crazy around the house.  As some of you may know, one of the new features added to this version is the ability to create your own character, the video game version of yourself that [...]

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