It’s Time To Face Reality

Now, a lot of you people out there like to talk about how stupid, and creepy, and out of touch, and “aspergers-esque” Glenn Beck is.  And I would have been right there with you, up until about ten minutes ago.

There’s no denying that Beck has a history of severe drug addiction (as he’s talked about it on multiple occasions), and an argument can be made that, now that he’s sober and doesn’t have drugs to excite him, he’s had to find something like sensationalism and fear-mongering to fill in that gap.  Some might say that he “gets high” on making people think that their lives are in serious, immediate danger and that only he himself has access to the truth that just might save the lives of their family.  Some might say that he is about as useful and as informative as a piss-drunk three-time loser who spends their entire life hurting everyone around them only to one day realize what they’ve done and cry crocodile tears, and that the only real difference between the two is that when the drunk cries, no one puts it on TV.  I am not one such person.

And here’s why: Glenn Beck is the only real, big, loud voice still screaming about the swine flu, or as people who want you to take the flu seriously call it, “the H1N1 virus.”  So many of you like to compare Beck’s tenacity and unwillingness to let go of a story to Nancy Grace’s still continuing coverage of the long-since-called-off hunt for Natalie Holloway; and you people are assholes.  Whereas Grace is just exploiting mild racism and parental impulses to create ratings, Glenn Beck is a hero who recognized that this was a story that had legs, regardless of what detractors, public response, or facts say about it.

Everyone knows that the way to tell if a disease is a serious threat or not is to ask yourself, “have any celebrities come down with this thing?”  If not, it’s clearly not that big a problem.  If so, you may have to take this outbreak a little more seriously than you have been.

Up until a couple days ago, no celebrities had really come down with the H1N1 virus.  There was talk about Ron Weasley catching a case, but that story never really developed.  Then, about a week ago, LA Galaxy Forward Landon Donovan contracted the dreaded plague.  And then, mere hours ago, it was revealed that Alvaro Uribe, the President of Colombia has a confirmed case of swine-pox.

Listen up, ladies and gentlemen: your lives are in serious danger, and the only person who is preaching the truth is Glenn Beck himself.  All you “always say quit” liberals need to get over your issues and hear the truth: swine flu is serious business.

If swine flu wasn’t the real deal, would the president of a country that’s less than 1/6^th the size of the US of A and an athlete who plays a sport that’s slightly less respected than The Real World/Road Rules Challenge (which is technically a sport, jerk) have caught it?  I think not.

It’s time to grow up and get your shit together.  Get out there, buy a gas mask and some duct tape, never talk to anyone face-to-face again (especially South American heads of state), and of course don’t forget to watch Glenn Beck, weeknights on FOX.  If you want to really assure your protection from the Swine Scourge, be sure to listen to Glenn Beck’s radio show as well.  It’s just too bad Senor Uribe wasn’t a fan of truthful conservative talk; it might have saved him from having to get a slightly painful shot or take a moderately sized pill.